Drained

All I can say is that last night was exactly what the doctor ordered. I don't think I've ever danced longer or harder in my life, which is saying quite a bit because of the following:

1. I'd been awake since 6:15 am and when everyone said they wanted to leave at 3:30 am, I think I could have stuck out the last half hour.
2. I hadn't eaten anything decent all day. A little bit of this, a little bit of that. I think the last thing I had eaten was some Doritos and a waffle. Yeah. Not a real meal, in case you were wondering.
3. I had massive heels on last night and on top of that, my old dance injury on my right foot was acting up on it.

But seriously. I've never felt so - I guess cleansed is THE only way to put it. I got everything out last night on the dance floor. I never realized it could be an outlet for everything that's been on my mind. Honestly - I haven't really thought about anything until I started writing this post, where it's gradually seeping back in. But I'm sure I'll be able to distract myself with the stuff I need to get done for work and school for the rest of the day.

Yes, last night's dancing escapades were fan-frickin'- tastic. They played Justin Timberlake twice, Nelly Furtado, and near the end, Yin Yang Twins. I was thrilled. And I managed to still look decent at the end of the night! Which never happens - I always look like I've been through a train wreck. The carding at the door incident was ridiculous. I can't believe that the guy told me I didn't look like my own license. He made me sign my name three times, check with another guy, and then asked Sruth my name to confirm everything. He was like, honey, you don't look anything like that picture, and I told him, you lose 25 pounds and doll up and see what you look like. Stupid bouncer at the door.

I think the funniest part of the night was when that Purdue guy got mad at me for saying I'm Gujurati and that my family is from Bombay. He was all like, "Bombay isn't in Gujurat - how come all you Gujus always say that?!" And I shot back with, "How come lame guys like you hit on hot girls and can't get their numbers?" He shut up pretty quickly. I love being back to feisty ol' me. Teehee!

Gautu is a damn hot dancer! Holy balls, Sruth! I didn't know he could move like that.

Having been Anshul-less for the past month and a half, it felt soooooooooo good to party with him. I love having him as one of my best friends. There's only one person in the world that can say "kk you're awesome". Haha. We ended up going to a diner afterwards to get some food and stole a fork because we were so hungry. Maru Panjrati - you have competition, because I ate those hashbrowns faster than you attacked those pancakes that one night . . . but I didn't have to look at the ceiling to swallow the mouthfuls. Haha.

Man, all I can think now is how often can I go clubbing in the city for the rest of summer and during medical school . . . last night was one of the best nights. And now I wish I were back there instead of sitting here at this computer!

Alright, gotta get shit done. So I'm out for now . . .

Antsy

So. Quite a bit has happened since the last time I posted. And I could write about all of that. But you know what? For now, I'm just going to sum it up with song lyrics. I was driving on my way to my mama's house this morning to water all of his plants - their family has gone to the Canadian Rockies, I believe, for a little over a week - and I heard this old song on the radio, and I think this is on target to how I feel right now about some people.

Sometimes I feel like I've got to
run away
I've got to
get away
from the pain you drive into the heart of me
And I've lost my light
for I toss and turn
I can't sleep at night

Once I ran to you
Now I'll run from you . . .

I had an original idea about what I wanted my next post to be about. And I'm going to write about just that right now. Just because there was a showdown last night at home doesn't mean I have to change my life upside down. Instead, I'm going to throw myself into both of my jobs, meaning that I have a reasonable excuse to be away from home. I'm going to throw myself into the organic class and prove to MYSELF, and ONLY ME, that I CAN get an A. And I was thinking about starting a countdown anyway for when medical school starts? And I think I will . . . not only does it mean medical school starts, it means these are my last days at home, becuase I don't think I'm ever going to come back . . .

Ahem.

These days, most of the songs on the radio are passable. For some reason (which I know and I'll explain), there are a few that really get me riled up.

Justin Timberlake with Timbaland - Sexy Back. Usually, my first reaction to just about any song I hear, no matter how awesome it is, and no matter how much I'll end up liking it later on, is what the FUCK is this? And then time after time, it just starts to grow on me. When the first beats came on Kiss FM, I had that exact same reaction. And by the end of the song, I was literally bobbing in my chair. I don't I've ever liked a song so quickly, no joke. The DJ liked it so much, she ended up playing it twice in a row, because it was just THAT damn good. And I have to agree. I've got images of choreography that flash in my head when this song plays, and it's just so awesome.

Or what about Nelly Furtado with Timbaland - Promiscuous? Seriously. The lyrics to that song are so saucy. Every time I hear Nelly's part to it, I know for a FACT that I have facials on my face. I have this image of a dark and smoky club and me being dressed in black pants . . . probably some V-necked sparkly black shirt that shows some tummy (ha, just like the shirt that I always borrow from Sruth when I go out, except in real life, I safety pin it so it's not SO low cut). TONS of smoky eye makeup and I think my hair would be would be curly and mostly off my face with some locks hanging in the front. Yes, indeed - I want to be in the video instead of Nelly because I want to be sexy like that!

Yah, and then there's Yin Yang Twins - Shake. I've got a whole routine for that one too. Huge baggy cargo pants and black halter that's tight and short. I've got a whole guy girl set up for the song. Formations . . . the whole nine yards. I blare these songs so loud and roll my windows down and just drive . . .

And it all comes down to this. All I want to do now is perform. I love the visions that pop into my head where I can visualize steps and formations without actually doing them or drawing them out. I love putting together steps that make people take a step back and go DAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMM. I love perfecting routines until there is nothing that could make it better. I love the clothes. I can deal with stage makeup. And I love dancing on stage in front of HUGE audiences. It's my time, it's my spotlight - I think everyone has that desire to be the one and only, the best of the best, the hottest, etc - and that's mine. Every single day the idea of giving up medicine and becoming insanely famous for dancing and performing goes through my head - it's a secret daydream of mine. But I guess it's not so secret anymore.

And I'm getting antsy. All I want to do to escape and I think this is why. It's my outlet. I was so burnt out during senior year with the excessive amount of drama. If people had let me do things the way I was in the beginning of senior year, I think I wouldn't have been so burnt out by doing it all later. Even moreso, I think I would have had a lot of the problems I did that year . . . but I digress. This is why all I do is want to drive - it's the only time I'm completely alone, in my own little world, and I can turn up the volume the way it should be. It's the only place I can perform. But I need to go back. ASAP. I need to put together a dance that's kickass. And if possible? I need to dance NOW. And not just the club stuff, although I'm totally looking forward to going out tonight with almost all of my favorite people. But it's not the same.

Alright, now I'm antsy because I drank too much water. So I'm going to sign off for now . . . it feels good to post regularly. :-)

A New Beginning

A new beginning, indeed. The slices of kiwi and cake from the past have been put away. That chapter is over. And I'm glad to be done with that part of my life. Bigger and better things await, eh?

So. The name of my blog? I came to the realization a few weeks ago that BARELY anyone calls me by my full name. I actually went through the list and ended up finding a BAZILLION nicknames. My mami, bhaillu, and Sonzi all call me Kavi. I think that's cute, and I'm glad to be able to relate being called that to them as opposed to people that are a part of my past. My older mama used to call me Kita, and when Nikita was growing up, she called me the same thing, because she couldn't pronounce my whole name. My younger cousin used to call me Kiwi, and my fua still calls me that with a big laugh everytime he sees me.

Sruth had a whole mess of names for me . . . my favorites were ativak and kakes. Kapoori and RT call me kk. The number of nicknames that Aashay possesses could span the world. When I was younger, they called me Veeda, Evita, Velveeta Shells and Cheese . . . there's just a huge list of 'em. So I picked my favorite ones and strung them together and ta-da! There's my blog title.

I'm glad that no one calls me by my full name. For some reason, I've decided I don't like my name. It's too common, and I like thinking of myself as one of a kind. And the syllables are too hard. Yes, I am strange - I sit around anyalyzing my name. Sue me!

Well, that's my first post. I want to write more, but I'm going to get back to work for now. I'm sure I'll be back for more later on.